Journeys of Self Care

We have had the pleasure of meeting some extraordinary people since 2013. Many have used our services since we opened our wellness space in 2016 and continue to learn and grown on their journeys.

Below is a selection of people to help inspire others by reading their incredible life lessons and how they have embraced and grown from their Cancer experiences.

LEANNE HUGHES
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Can tell us about your cancer diagnosis 
When and what it was, how you knew something wasnt right and how long it took you to get your initial diagnosis? 

I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in early 2018, at 31. I'd found a lump in the summer of 2015 and gone to my GP, but was told because of my age and having no family history of breast cancer that it was nothing to worry about and was likely just normal hormonal changes. The lump was tiny at the time, but it was a noticeable difference to me. By the time I was referred to get it looked at, after it had gotten worse, it was shown to be cancer, and although I was asymptomatic at the time, my breast MRI caught a small shadow on my liver which prompted further scans, and we found out a couple of weeks later that it had already spread through my bones and liver. 

Have any of your oncologists every said why you may have developed cancer? 
And over the course of understanding your body more throughout your journey what factors do you think may have lead to your cancer diagnosis? 

No they haven't, the general narrative is they just can't know, and I understand that. But I knew at the time I was diagnosed that I wasn't 'well', even though I just put this down to just being stressed and tired like everyone else. I was living a life that didn't give me space to stop and figure it out either, so I was very much in a cycle of stress, burnout, fix and mend, pick up and start again. I ignored many signs from my body that something wasn't right. But I was very much someone who just 'got on with things' and put my own needs to the back. The more I've learnt about my body and reflected on who I was and how I was living, 'pre cancer' I can definitely see how stress, and holding onto my emotions, has manifested in my physical health. 

What made you first started to look at more holistic ways to help you along your path? 
What things did you start to change and are you still doing those things now? 

I was already on a somewhat holistic path when I was diagnosed, it's a world I've always had one foot in, so it was the natural way for me to look. Between my diagnosis appointment and finally seeing an oncologist was 3 weeks, and I had been told to just go home and carry on as normal, and told there was nothing I could do, which just felt crazy to me. So it was during those weeks that I just started exploring all the things that I could start doing to support myself, and my health, at the very least to prepare for the treatments I was about to have. I remember reading something that said "You can't heal in the soil you got sick in" and it really hit home for me. The first things I started to look at were the basics - my diet, my lifestyle, sleep quality, relationships, what toxins I was letting into my body and mind. These are all the simplest things to start with that we often overlook, but they are also the fundamentals that I still come back to now. 

We are all constantly learning, growing and changing. It’s inspiring when people with a life changing illness go on to train in a technique that had a profound effect on their own health and in turn help others. 
How long did it take you to discover breathwork and was it an instant help or was it the more you practiced the more you saw the benefit?

I had some breathwork techniques that I used already through my yoga practice that I knew had always been supportive when I was stressed, or anxious, so they were naturally tools I turned to during those early days of my diagnosis if things became overwhelming. But it wasn't until a year or so into my diagnosis that I started to explore breathwork classes, and try different types of breathwork. I started to notice such a difference in my general wellbeing and mood from a regular breathwork practice, even just from 10 or 15 minutes in my mornings. But when I first practiced the breath technique I went on to train in, it instantly felt different and I experienced much deeper shifts. I was really cracked open, and it was the tool I needed to really dig deeper and transform some deep rooted pain, that I didn't even know I was holding onto. 

What are your go to practices/lifestyle changes have been the most helpful for you and how has this changed over time ?

There are so many, but the practices and tools that have been the most helpful consistently are breathwork and meditation, movement (usually in the form of yoga), and the changes I have made to the way I eat, incorporating supportive plants and herbs into my everyday life. 

All of these things have very much evolved over the years as I've started to become much more intuitive about what my body needs day to day, and what it has been capable of, or not, at different points on this journey. There have been times for example, where yoga, or breathwork even, just wasn't possible because my body was in too much pain, so my practices have had to adapt.

Rather than having a rigid routine or list of things to do, which is how it was at the beginning, all of these things have become a much more natural part of my everyday life over time, and are all about meeting me where I'm at. The biggest practice for me in all of these changes has really been about getting to know myself again, and spending time daily checking in with me. Knowing what I need, what is right for me, and what makes me feel good, and leaving what doesn't.

Are there any books, documentaries or other educational resources that are/were particularly useful to you and that you would recommend to others?

There are so many books I love! Starting with 'Radical Remission', and 'Radical Hope' are where I would always begin to give an instant perspective shift, as is the Heal documentary and network. A favourite book of mine that I have read over and over is 'Anatomy of the Spirit' by Carloyn Myss. Also, 'When the Body Says no', and 'The Body Keeps the Score'. On a practical healing level, The Metabolic Approach to Cancer is a great resource for starting to make health and lifestyle changes and to see a different approach to healing cancer.

Knowing what you know now, what advice would you go back and give yourself to the time when you were diagnosed? 

I would tell myself to slow down, and reassure myself I do have time to figure out what I want the next step to be. That this is my journey and I make the decisions on everything. My biggest turning point in the weeks after diagnosis was when I caught myself laughing for the first time, and noticed I'd forgotten I was 'sick' for a minute. In that moment I realised that I didn't actually feel sick at all I was just telling myself I was, so I switched the narrative and instead of asking myself how sick I felt, I started instead thinking about how good I felt, despite my diagnosis. Understanding what cancer really is also helped me to alleviate the fear of it. Down to it being a bunch of my own cells, rather than a monster that has invaded my body, and seeing how easy and inevitable it is that cells in our body will lose their way, or get damaged at some point. 

Are there any daily affirmations that you have in that back of your mind that help you?

"I am healing with every breath" is my favourite go-to affirmation. It is something I have been repeating for years now. Not only does it remind me my body is always capable of healing, but it always reminds me to stop and take a deeper breath. It is also a great affirmation for visualising healing happening as your inhale, and letting go as you exhale. Another affirmation or statement that always helped me through hard times is... "whatever happens, i'll handle it".

What have you learnt about life here on earth? Has your experience opened you up to any profound feelings or thoughts? or knowledge?

That the more I learn, the less I know! Experiencing cancer has totally changed my perspective on life and death and everything in between. I have so much appreciation and curiosity, of the world we live in, how nature works, how we work as humans, how everything interacts with each other, and how much we can't even see! The more I explore different philosophies and ancient practices I feel like I'm just pulling at a thread that never ends, there is so much wisdom beyond what we know, and therefore so many possibilities of how we can live, heal, thrive. Through my own spiritual study, I've come to see how we are all just equal parts of a huge tapestry, interwoven with each other and nature, just here in this snapshot of time to experience this life. Life doesn't feel so serious anymore, it feels transient, infinite and full of possibility. The biggest lessons it has taught me is that the most important place to be is here and now, and that love for each other and the world is everything. 

Is there anything else you would like to share about your journey to help inspire others?

That I have had some of the best years of my life since my diagnosis. For the most part I have been the most well and happy I have ever been. There have obviously been some absolute rock bottom moments, and I know there will be more, but having tools to support me through them makes it a lot easier to ride the highs and lows of a diagnosis like this.